"i wonder if i am radicalizing my therapist" and other normal things to think about

@Dayglochainsaw if you conceive of therapy as an exercise in trying to come to terms with yourself to reconcile the things youve been told and the things youve told yourself that are so patently absurd with the truth that flows so freely from your own eyes and ears and so freely from your own heart if you view it as that, then yes my therapist was the great key that unlocked that door

@Dayglochainsaw and if you believe that knowing yourself and knowing what this all is what game you've been playing the whole time without realizing is the most radical thing that it is possible to imagine a person doing, then yes, she was the one who did that

@mcknze that sounds a whole lot better than what i was gonna say, which was "a therapist is someone you talk to while your brain defrags itself"

@Dayglochainsaw a therapy can be a holding pattern a thing you do to whittle away time but thats not the actual vision of the concept the idea is that a person can come to you an see you and then extract the truth out of your heart and display it for you in their hands like this glowing artifact of a long dead civilization and then you will see then you will have clarity that is the dream if you will

@mcknze honestly this feels more right than "psyche doctor" which is how I've been thinking about it

@Dayglochainsaw the enabling factor is you being willing to actually put your shit on the table otherwise the therapist no matter how qualified or empathetic or personally agreeable to you has nothing to really draw from

@mcknze yea that a good point there, i remember that for the first few sessions i basically just talked about nothing and got nowhere

@Dayglochainsaw i mean that CAN be a part of building he rapport between you and them, this is a RELATIONSHIP and you have to build that, the question is are you leading to a point where you actually expose yourself and open up the whole thing

@Dayglochainsaw i think it was the 4th or 5tg session with this therapist im referring to where she was like "you are in an abusive relationship with your mother"

@mcknze idk honestly. like ive gotten pretty good at oversharing in a way where i talk a lot about stuff but also give very little information regarding things im actually vulnerable about

@Dayglochainsaw i think this is both a matter of therapist skill and fit to your particular case like they have to take what you give them and discard the facade and find the critical revelation and ask that question and then on your side you have to be willing to offer the hint and then when they hit you with the hard questions really be honest and just explode that truth

@Dayglochainsaw also i think its really important to say that not every therapist is what you need the odds are very much against you just happening upon the like person who is just going to unlock you in this space

@Dayglochainsaw you can have a perfectly good therapist who is good at doing the whole having a person to talk to every week deal and thats a good thing to have but like if you get to a point where you've been talking to this same person for a while and you think youre getting diminishing returns with them theres nothing wrong with saying hey thanks for everything but i think the next step for me is trying a different approach at this

@Dayglochainsaw i think you need to go through at least 5 therapists to find the person who really does it for you and i very well may be biased by being lucky as shit to find like the person

@mcknze ive seen maybe four different people total? ive been going to the same one for like 9ish months now and shes been pretty good but also i just think i am not that difficult to read. Ideally i could find one that already understands Deep Online Bullshit and the inherent isolation that comes with radicalism

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