Pinned toot
Pinned toot

me: have I told you about my theory that heaven is exclusively populated by great apes because they were also made in god's image but were not born with original sin?

a cop: we meant a statement about all the crimes you committed

Pinned toot

Poor Sasquatch could not bear to stay
Around folks who're hornt every day
They all asked for lewds
In text that concludes
"Big feet? Well you know what they say..."

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

โ„‚ ๐”ธ ๐•‹ โ„™ ๐•€ ๐•Š ๐•Š
แด„ สœ แด€ ษด แด‡ สŸ

a cool thing about living in Florida is that for 75% of the year we have roughly the same humidity level as Atlantis

You're not a shitposter, you're just a shit poster

Boosting without faving just means you want the tooter to know you didn't like their toot and want to inflict it on as many people as possible.

who is the man in the suit? who is the cat with the beak? 

The thing about everything I'm even a little bit good at is that I know like twenty people who are better at it, whatever it is

hey its me, guy who wants to join in onthe fun but barely understands what you're memeing about,

I do not post with my hand; he who posts with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

I post with my mind (diseased).

@EdgarAllanFoe Remembering the names of all the Great Lakes is easy! Just think of HOMIES.

which of these is a warcrime

I had to take a picture of this license plate because I knew nobody would believe me

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Cฬฎอšอ‰ฬžฬผrฬณอ”ฬคฬฒyอ•ฬฑpอขฬฃฬฎtอ˜ฬฌฬ อ…ฬ™อ”iอขฬชฬฃdฬกฬฆฬคอ…ฬฏฬบฬฅsฬซฬ–ฬซอฬฃอ™ฬ— ฬฆฬซฬปOอœอ”ฬฉฬซฬ˜nฬงฬŸฬณฬฃฬปฬŸlฬธอˆฬ–อฬฅฬณอ™iฬฑอ™ฬ˜neฬถฬ ฬ˜ฬฅอš

A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.