Pinned toot
Pinned toot

me: have I told you about my theory that heaven is exclusively populated by great apes because they were also made in god's image but were not born with original sin?

a cop: we meant a statement about all the crimes you committed

Pinned toot

Poor Sasquatch could not bear to stay
Around folks who're hornt every day
They all asked for lewds
In text that concludes
"Big feet? Well you know what they say..."

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

eyy you have found the freakin' forest sage baybee; you wanna ask him how da Mets are gonna do this year, or where to get a good slice

someone put mouth moods in my whiffle brain, and I wolf whistle when two pickups go bumper to bumper

The cryptids are good

The cryptids are fun

The cryptids are lovely

Need I say more?

eyy you have found the freakin' forest sage baybee; you wanna ask him how da Mets are gonna do this year, or where to get a good slice

<blowing my warhorn> hello im over here now <more horn noises>

@EdgarAllanFoe

hopefully this doesn't become a post everyone submits recorded readings of

Exercising my considerable resources to secure an abandoned mansion Airbnb for every registered Cryptid to meet me this Halloween to ratify our handbook with blood.

I always nickname my pokemon and if I catch a Chansey I always give it a name like BONECRACKER or GORE-FIEND that's just the rules

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Cฬฎอšอ‰ฬžฬผrฬณอ”ฬคฬฒyอ•ฬฑpอขฬฃฬฎtอ˜ฬฌฬ อ…ฬ™อ”iอขฬชฬฃdฬกฬฆฬคอ…ฬฏฬบฬฅsฬซฬ–ฬซอฬฃอ™ฬ— ฬฆฬซฬปOอœอ”ฬฉฬซฬ˜nฬงฬŸฬณฬฃฬปฬŸlฬธอˆฬ–อฬฅฬณอ™iฬฑอ™ฬ˜neฬถฬ ฬ˜ฬฅอš

A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.