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me: have I told you about my theory that heaven is exclusively populated by great apes because they were also made in god's image but were not born with original sin?

a cop: we meant a statement about all the crimes you committed

@EdgarAllanFoe all the clouds in ape heaven are just vape from the big Vape Ape in the sky.

@EdgarAllanFoe

me: have you thought about playing Guild Wars 2 some time

person: sir this is a Wendy's

me: yeah I know

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