this is a roast thread of the Roman emperor Nero, please join in
@EdgarAllanFoe i liked him better in Fate
@EdgarAllanFoe lil ugly ass dude looking like a fuckin cartoon witch with a chinstrap and a bowl cut
@EdgarAllanFoe looks like the wicked witch of the west wearing an orange skateboard helmet
@EdgarAllanFoe that’s just Count Olaf in disguise
The dude looks like someone photoshopped his face smaller by 15%
@EdgarAllanFoe honestly I would prefer to imagine that sculptor is just really bad at making faces than think that anyone actually looked like that
@yawn the coins are worse
and this is the most widespread bit of imperial propaganda
he had to have approved this
@EdgarAllanFoe oh nooooooooo
@yawn Nero inflates his throat pouch to attract a mate, ward off predators
@EdgarAllanFoe It's a resonance chamber that lets him make noises like the raptor bone in jurassic park
@EdgarAllanFoe on the real though what are the odds he had like hyperthyroidism or something? not a roman scholar but I feel like I've heard they had lead pipes
They did and largely knew that lead pipes could cause diseases, they just didn't have anything better and people needed water.
I'm not able to diagnose somebody that's been dead for 2 millennia but lead poisoning in small doses was common.
(Similar happened to us more modernly when early diesel and gasoline engines came about/became mass affordable before unleaded fuels)
@EdgarAllanFoe fuck out of her with yo "Their always after me Lucky charms" looking ass.
He looks like the black sheep of the Weasley family
He looks like the product of an arranged marriage between Ed Sheeran and Hodor
@EdgarAllanFoe his face looks like when you push in on a barbie head and it gets stuck like that.
@EdgarAllanFoe he looks like a Harmony Korine background actor
@EdgarAllanFoe even birdsite fash are like "yeah nah that bust would be a shit avi"
@EdgarAllanFoe this dude makes you use the madcatz controller
@EdgarAllanFoe more like owoman empewow newowo
thats all i got for the knock-off josh homme with a bowl cut
@EdgarAllanFoe small face havin ass looks like he's wearing a sweatband vertically
@EdgarAllanFoe his chicken tenders werent crispy so he set rome on fire
Those who are about to die think the vigiles should stop murdering citizens ✊
@EdgarAllanFoe Nero thinks an agrarian reform to redistribute lands would be too much of an Imperial intervention, the latifundists will regulate themselves
@EdgarAllanFoe he ruined my CD!
@EdgarAllanFoe Nero has nothing against Christians, if only they didn't ruin mosaics with all these forced and unrealistic christian characters
@EdgarAllanFoe Nero’s pissed at his mom for buying the wrong flavor Hot Pockets
@EdgarAllanFoe I cant believe all those video game character creators were letting us do wacky stuff to human bodies because they really just wanted us to recreate Nero, who looks like someone set the “face” slider to “no” and neck beard slider to max.... 🤔
@EdgarAllanFoe Nero looks like he fucked in front of his sisters
"Not now mom, get out! No, you can NOT join!"
@EdgarAllanFoe I can see why everyone was like "Nero burnt Rome".
Nero just wanted everyone to hear his fiddle cover of his favorite Decemberists song
@EdgarAllanFoe Nero posts conspiracy theories blaming the jews for the burning of rome on IVChan
@EdgarAllanFoe original neck-beard lookin ass
@EdgarAllanFoe my man looking like he's giving you very specific rules for LARPing
@EdgarAllanFoe "well actually..." face-ass
@EdgarAllanFoe man gets haircuts from his mama despite literally being an emperor
Nero was the top backer of Ethan Van Sciver's Kickstarter
A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.