Pinned toot

P I R A C Y I S G O O D
A N D
A L S O H O W I A F F O R D
A C A V E I N T H E
M A R I A N A T R E N C H
T H A T ‘ S P̨ ͏̭̯͕̼ͅR̮̣̜̝͎͖̫ ̠͉I̖ ̭̱̟M̺̹̩͝ ͉̖͈E͉̰͙̕
R E A L E S T A T E
B A B Y Y Y

Pinned toot

A L L L I F E C O M E S F R O M
T H E O C E A N
A N D I W I L L S E E T O I T
T H A T A L L I S
R E T U R N E D

Y O U A R E N O T
Y O U R B O D Y
Y O U A R E M E R E L Y
R E N T I N G
Y O U R B O D Y
F R O M T H E C E L L S
W H I C H C O M P O S E I T

W O U L D I D I E F O R
T H E S K E L E T O N ?
N O .
W I L L H E D I E F O R
M E ?
I F T H E R I T U A L
W O R K S .

reading through the group chat of confused twinks trying to get home from the club without my guidance and weeping... they needed me

You think just because I'm sitting on this tree trunk, playing the banjo in the middle of a forest I have a good tale to tell you? You think I know something relevant to your journey? Maybe I'm just waiting for my raccoon husband. Dumbass

Don't fuckin act like you don't know what non-binary is when you know damn well some Pokemon just ain't got no gender this isn't a new concept

I airdropped a picture to a random phone at this Queerlesque bar and it turned out to be the cute boy I’ve been making eyes at all night

As I near 10,000 toots, I will be taking a step back from Mastodon to reevaluate my role.

Since becoming president of the ocean eight months ago, I have had the time of my life. I opened the border to the arctic and antarctic ocean so we can party with penguins. I disrespected some crabs. I even communed with the mother water.

But my critics say it’s not enough. So I must prove them wrong! There’s a big initiative in the works, and before I luxuriate in the big 10k, I plan to see it through.

“It’s not a phase mom!” I yell as I adorn the crown splattered with enemy blood and remove the scepter from Cthulhu’s lifeless tentacle.

Here in the ocean we believe in a REAL democracy, where you aren’t allowed to vote if your beliefs are dumb and wrong by my estimation

i was just minding my heterosexual business in 2010 and then gaga released alejandro

people who don’t let their kids listen to lady gaga because they’re worried she’ll make them gay are silly but also lady gaga made me gay

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C̮͚͉̞̼r̳͔̤̲y͕̱p̣̮͢t̬̠̙͔͘ͅi̪̣͢d̡̦̤̯̺̥ͅs̫̖̫͍̣͙̗ ̦̫̻O͔̩̫̘͜ņ̟̳̣̻̟l̸͈̖͍̥̳͙i̱͙̘ne̶̠̘̥͚

A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.