Pinned toot

To the tune of vindicated by dashboard confessional: 

T. B. Honest, my great-great-grandfather, came to this country LEGALLY and sold knockoff basketball shorts!

@cosmicevan how come none of them have my kind of fantasies in them 🙃

Just to let you know, if I had a lot of money, I would use it to help the world. Like Tony Stark. Just so we’re clear on that.

:wink_shitty: how come there are so many “Final” fantasy games?

my late grandfather served in the Korean War and i still have no idea what it was. i now know more about Cats than i know about the Korean War

if you're not good at something you better be bad at everything, that's the drive that burns through my fighting spirit

Russian burn notice where the guy narrates how to hack an American voting machine

i failed on my first dream of becoming the first professional baseball player with terminal ibs so i'm achieving my 2nd closest dream: having the worst brain alive

my straight cis but clueless friend rob is referring to himself as an "ally bottom" and it's a nightmare

My [F23] boyfriend [F20] won’t stop calling my dad a “cringecuck” at family gatherings

:wink_shitty: Why do they call it the NEWs... if it’s all the same OLD bullshit?

could be worse

in australia they have too much yahoo serious

@cosmicevan i've often said that we too often yahoo answer and not often enough yahoo listen

@cosmicevan wow you really stole this from the script Julian Castro is memorizing for the 2nd Democratic Primary debate

In this country, we have too many yahoo questions and not enough yahoo answers

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A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.