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if anyone’s gonna ask me what mastodon is i’m just gonna show them this picture

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it's actually illegal to reply to my toots

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the song "Human" by The Killers asks an important question: are dancers human, and if not, and what are they? are dancers dangerous? where did they come from? why haven't we noticed?

yesterday was the first time the guy was absolutely enchanted by my pecs djfjdjsjjdjd kinda weird because its usually the other way around

jakooob boosted

supernatural is basically a tv series about two dudes being bros

i love creating new problems for myself

okay either guys from grindr have amnesia or they text with so many guys they don’t remember anythingn we’ve talked about, and cant be bothered to scroll up a little bit

me: hi
the guy with whom i matched on tinder: sorry im not looking for a hookup

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guys can we PLEASE get trending?? eugen said if i get 500 boosts he'll give me mastodon

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capitalism done fucked you all up and got you tricked bro

ughhhhhhh i have to go and be a tutor in 18 minutes, and my pupil doesnt remember anything i teach him

just lemme eat some oscypek and go to bed

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