jakooob @jakub@cryptids.online

if anyone’s gonna ask me what mastodon is i’m just gonna show them this picture

it's actually illegal to reply to my toots

the song "Human" by The Killers asks an important question: are dancers human, and if not, and what are they? are dancers dangerous? where did they come from? why haven't we noticed?

my internal clock tells me to get going but in reality i still have like 20 minutes left

i woke up too early and now idk what to do with all that spare time

turns out crocheting is perfect for binging netflix because you don't feel like youre wasting time

i gotta learn how to knit

mother please stop being so loud

yesterday was the first time the guy was absolutely enchanted by my pecs djfjdjsjjdjd kinda weird because its usually the other way around

guys being dudes

supernatural is basically a tv series about two dudes being bros

i love creating new problems for myself

okay either guys from grindr have amnesia or they text with so many guys they don’t remember anythingn we’ve talked about, and cant be bothered to scroll up a little bit

me: hi
the guy with whom i matched on tinder: sorry im not looking for a hookup

enchanted

my #ballsack is itchy

i am being a tutor right now

ughhhhhhh i have to go and be a tutor in 18 minutes, and my pupil doesnt remember anything i teach him