thief of light @jakub@cryptids.online

if anyone’s gonna ask me what mastodon is i’m just gonna show them this picture

it's actually illegal to reply to my toots

the song "Human" by The Killers asks an important question: are dancers human, and if not, and what are they? are dancers dangerous? where did they come from? why haven't we noticed?

my ego and id lowkey overlaps and it was kinda confusing for my therapist

i will Understand if Skeleton is gonna ban me after my last toots

or that article or whatever where a woman talked about how she stores fruit in her pussy for the whole day and then her husband eats them

i sometimes think about that article on vice where a woman collected a jar of her uhhh pussy liquid? that thing that lubricates it, idk im gay, because she thought that its kinda like egg whites and then she fried it, and it turned out that it's not like egg whites at all

this is official: i have feet

my feet are dry

i really missed having pink hair, all the Stares i used to get because of them, ughhh the DrAMA ☕️🤩

comfy boi

recently my friend accidentally dyed his hair purple (don't ask) and our math teacher complained that it's kinda controversial or whatever, so guess what, im dyeing my hair pink for our next math class 🤪

anyway today's new episode of steven universe so uhhhh i might shit myself because of the excitement

i wanna big spoon some boy

i wanna c*ddle with some c*te b*y >:((

gotta draw some eldritch stuff

pooping is nicer when you're vegetarian

so i was cooking dinner and i though to myself "damn this is definitely not kosher" and i dont really understand why because
1) the dish is probably kosher
2) im not even jewish

*puts on socks with malicious intent*