Omtose Phellack @kevinwhipsnowed@cryptids.online

As an occasionally proud member of the Pittsburgh Diaspora, I’m doing a thread of words or phrases you will hear when subjected to our presence. We are legion, n’at

I will attempt to post a few tonight, and then on a regular basis when the Black & Gold pride attempts to take hold of me

I swear I do not sound like this unless I am extremely drunk. It is entirely too easy to let the yinzer inside escape if you don’t keep a constant vigil on it

1st entry: Pittsburgh Steelers

*extremely Road House voice*

Polar bear fell on me

faved. faved. faved. all youre selfies are faved. none of you are free of clicks

Hot cross buns suck

No ‘He is Risen’ jokes today you pervs

You all file out the front door. You and her are the last ones in line

Two taxis waiting

You look up and see her looking back. You ask:

‘Do you want to go grab a drink? There’s a nice little place about a block over’

She walks over to the taxis, says something to each driver in turn

She closes the doors and waves them off

‘Yes, I would love to’

You almost choke on your wine. Act like you were sneezing. That works every time, right?

The evening winds down. Quite a few empty bottles

Everyone seems to be flagging

Except you. Except her

You’ve been able to smile back when chatting without tipping everything off the table throughout the night, so small miracles

One last speech thanking everyone for coming out, taxis are outside and we’ll see you all not so bright and not so early tomorrow, or is it today?

She gets your attention, that smile works every time

She makes small talk about go-live dates and blockers and training plans

You run over some of the details with her but one of the employees who’s been there a long time is a few glasses (probably bottles) in and starts going on about:

“We’re a young company, long hours and extra effort put in. Builds teamwork, builds camaraderie”

“So, who’s been flirtin’ with who and which one of you is gonna spill the gossip?”

A few speeches from management about the strength of the new intake, benefits they are achieving for the company, let’s all have a nice night

You look across the table a couple of times before dinner arrives, and you see the smirk again

You try to smile back each time but almost bump over the water, drop your fork and tip over the salt

Only one glass of red, you don’t want to be that guy

Everyone else seems set on clearing out the wine cellar

She only had one also

You’re a bit surprised she knows you are on that project. ‘Ahh, yeah. But it’s been a lot of fun and I’m getting to learn some new stuff’

She nods. ‘We really appreciate it, it’s going to be a big help’

A sly smile, you’re sure of it but you can’t be 100% sure and she adds:

‘See you this evening’

Later you arrive at the restaurant and look for your place card

There’s about 20 people in total on one long rectangular table

She’s sitting across from you

An email came in for a dinner for new starters

Something they did periodically to build up the connections between the departments

All the new people from the last few months and some randomly selected longer-term employees

You see her name on the invite

The day of the dinner you’re sitting in the cafe at lunch and she sits down at your table

‘I heard you’ve been putting in some real crazy hours on that rollout our team has been going on and on about’

You would see her when you rode the elevator down to the ground floor cafe

You swear they vented up through it, the whole office smelled of coffee

Random smoke breaks throughout the day, and it seemed you’d be coming out when she was heading in

You knew who she was and which department she worked in, but you just hadn’t been able to build up the nerve to talk to her

You had been working there about four weeks

You think she may have been there for a year

All open floor plan in your area, exposed ceilings to see all the mystical workings of an IT department

Not really, just a bunch of network and electrical cables

Probably cheaper to not put in the ceiling tiles

It was still a neat aesthetic

Good morning

Wanna boost 🅱️ ig🅱️ oot toot but don't want to get shouted at for what it's a reply to