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*crashes through the window of an old mansion during a thunderstorm* hey dudes

new cryptid idea: a cis white boy who understands how to work a coochie

my favorite cryptid is the little men that live inside computers to make them run. when i press the power button a big mallet swings down and bonks him on the head to wake him up from his hammock bed and he goes to work swinging on ropes and riding a pulley system made entirely of wood and old twine

spilling liquids on your computer is bad because it gets slippery in there and your little elf will fall and crack their skull open

socialism is when the government does a thing. praxis is when a poor person does a thing. eldritch is when something has a tentacle

oh also a sandwich is when two things are touching and sometimes with a thing between it. so like when bigfoot crushes your head between his hands that's a sandwich

i know what youre thinking, and no, lil uzi vert is not a cryptid. cryptozoology rules require something to have lived on earth for a very long time, and uzi is not from our planet

whooops ehhehh didn know this was onn eheEHHH FUCkkk whats P OP PP IN G AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUU ……….WoooOoOW its lit in here huhhh huhu mmwwahhh FUUUUCKCKKK ITS HOT AS FUCK IN HERE take the hoodie off Nahhhhh keep it on its cute as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck nah but 4 real shout out .. shout out … FOLLOWERS AHAAAAAHH ……………………… doing a shout out for .. if ur following it aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUAUAU fuck… cant wait to meet up … peace …. aa .. a a .. a

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C̮͚͉̞̼r̳͔̤̲y͕̱p̣̮͢t̬̠̙͔͘ͅi̪̣͢d̡̦̤̯̺̥ͅs̫̖̫͍̣͙̗ ̦̫̻O͔̩̫̘͜ņ̟̳̣̻̟l̸͈̖͍̥̳͙i̱͙̘ne̶̠̘̥͚

A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.