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just a little monster without any ideas, starting to go horn-bald. their teeth are worn down. just not as sharp as they used to be

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sentient eco-locatia :: missive :: 1.000

@selontheweb this implies there's a class called Defense Against the Hog Arts

time to log on to "online" to post about being fit as fuck whilst physically recoiling and hissing at my own reflection in real life

planting pills in the ground to grow a medicare for all shrub

A lotta Masto meetups lately so I have to say if I ever meet you I will crush you

If shes your girl why am I nervous to do standup in front of her

Employers should be forced to pay people for interviewing and also forced to send rejection notifications. Stop wasting our time

teaching Defense Against the Dart Arts at Dartwarts

me, 23: idiot, small-minded, contemptible
me, 23, thinking about me, 24: has read all the books i tell people i have, rippling muscles, kind and warm
me, 24: idiot, medium-minded, contemptible

@selontheweb one time i went to a party and it was 18 white people sitting in a circle singing an acoustic rendition of "hey ya" led by a guy playing guitar in a perry the platypus shirt

I'm not in the business of sharing twitter screenshots but holy shit ive been laughing at this for 10 minutes

dork nerds always say things like "get freaked". cool nerds always say "get fracked." this is culture my baby

some motherfuckers just want to eat margarine

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A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.