I don't know anything about star trek so here is what i think star trek is. i have never seen a single episode movie or generation:

socialism reigns supreme, in all of the universe. picard has been fighting captain kirk for a long time. a nemesis named khan is about, and making him shout. i imagine he is very quickly dealt with. the Fighting Aliens have a big sword called a bat'leth, and they like to read the bible with each in other in Klingon while fighting. im sure picard js upset

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one day they are in deep space. everyone knows what the stardate was, but then they forgot, on account of how deep they are in space (9 levels). they stayed there for so long that there was another generation. nothing interesting happens, kirk kisses an alien on TV foe the first time, nothing interesting continues to happen. the borg fight the ferengi, whom i hate for being anti-semitic. there's no conflict, except thet are sad about when the red shirt dies

then they are in the room that lets you live in a hologram, and boy are they all mad in an understated way. here JJ abarams retcons them all, and spock is gay with himself in the past, which rules. a lens flare then shines in my eye and prevents me from seeing or caring about star trek ever again

oh right data is there, his visor is cool, and he uses it to read slash fiction. um there's a small boy? kirk teaches him to fight with his two hands in one fist

that's everything i know about star trek that i have gleaned from commercials, nerds, and cultural trivia. i will now mute star trek forever and care exclusively about luke skywalker, who was doing a sick dance in a parallel universe while all this shit was happening

@selontheweb sounds legit.

"there is life after death. a very painful life." --Spock

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