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If you think there’s Something under your bed, you’re right. If you thought you heard a sound from the basement, you did.
It was me and I am ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ʸᵒᵘ

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Hi new friends. You may be afraid of me, but don’t worry, I’m not afraid of you.

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If you find yourself bored tonight, just find a big plate glass window and stare outside. It’s very dark out tonight. Is there something out there? Of course not. That’s just the reflection of Something behind you.

You can still visit the people later if you need to.

Imagine being a fan of a long dead serial killer when you could simply ʳᵉˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵖʳᶦˢᵒⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶠˡᵉˢʰ and then mail cryptic notes to law enforcement.

Funny how I am kind and beautiful and smart and everyone yells at me all the time because they are afraid

Might fuck around and become a rabid Vlad the Impaler fanboi

The only laws I’m bound by are in the Cryptids handbook

me: after taking organic chemistry, I have a fear of hydroxyl groups

my therapist: oh


Anyway, ᵀʰᵉʸ’ʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ᵃⁿʸ ᵐᵒʳᵉ

I was once reported for being too spooky if you can believe it. High water mark.

I’ll whisper in your ear just as you start to fall asleep. That’s how you’ll know I’m there.

ᴵ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ʷᵃᶦᵗ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒⁿᶦᵍʰᵗ

Gym Leaders in Pokemon games have it figured OUT. Unlike loser metagamers, they’re just like “rock pokemon are hella tight” and they go for it.

Sometimes a thought pops into your head and you just have to get it out no matter the consequences. That’s what happened here.

If she’s your mummy, why is her viscera in my canopic jars?

Them: “How do you know it’s a cornbread pan?”

Me: “These are the mysteries of the south”

The pan:

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C̮͚͉̞̼r̳͔̤̲y͕̱p̣̮͢t̬̠̙͔͘ͅi̪̣͢d̡̦̤̯̺̥ͅs̫̖̫͍̣͙̗ ̦̫̻O͔̩̫̘͜ņ̟̳̣̻̟l̸͈̖͍̥̳͙i̱͙̘ne̶̠̘̥͚

A small, private instance where a few cryptids may roam and play. Seek, but fear. The whole thing was birthed in a Denny's in 2016.